So much potential
Time to get blogging again. To my old followers, I hope you are well and happy. Hopefully you are still out there and we can reconnect. To all of my friends who have been by my side throughout my journey, thank you for being there. Your support means the world to me. Life would not be the same without the confidence I enjoy knowing you always have my back.
To those reading my blog for the first time , welcome! I broke my neck almost 10 years ago while on holiday in Spain. The accident left me paralysed from the neck down and unable to breathe on my own. I am attached to my ventilator 24 hours a day. Please, feel free to read The Accident if you have if the time and if you have any interest in finding out more about what followed then Nothing but the Memories tells my story, as best as I can.
It has been a long time since I posted regularly (just trying to get the website and my voice recognition to behave together again) but I always left the door open knowing that someday I would come back and I think I am at that place. There have been many changes in my life that have brought me here but right now I find myself writing with a sense of frustration.
I love my life, warts and all. That’s why I get frustrated when I come across people with so much potential left for having a great life but feel trapped by their disability. There is a way to be happy again despite living with a disability, a way to have a purpose and a way to be thankful for all that you still have. That’s not to say it’s easy.
I have been through long spells of depression when waking up in the morning comes with a sense of disappointment. When I simply cannot be bothered with another day going through the motions and smiling because that’s what people want to see. I wish I could share some secret remedy that flicks a switch and makes everything better but I don’t think there is one. Sometimes we just need to accept that life can be shit but I know that does not need to be permanent.
I know now that with the right support and the right attitude life can be great again. My life is different, very different, but I am lucky in so many ways. We all have challenges in life, disabled or not, but for most of us there is an answer. Sometimes that answer is just time and some patience but sometimes we need to have courage and make a conscious decision to change.
That is the situation I found myself in. A couple of years after the accident and I was still using my disability as an excuse to live within myself. I didn’t look after my body, I drank too much, I took too much medication, I was angry at the people who deserved it the least, I wouldn’t talk about my feelings and I was doing just enough to exist. I wasn’t living. Not in the true sense of the word. Looking back now, I’m amazed my friends decided to stay by my side. I must have been a miserable pain in the arse!
I will be forever grateful that they did as their support helped to drag me through the process of turning my life around.
I don’t want to preach, I’m not qualified. What I want to do is encourage people to look at their life and decide if they have the power to improve it. If I can reach one person then it makes all this blogging worthwhile.
Anyway, I am back and I will post as often as I can. I’m not going to go on about what happened to me, those posts are there already. I’m going to be talking about what happens next. Actually, I’m going to be talking about what can happen next if you decide to squeeze the most out of the life you have been gifted with. I made that decision some time ago and thanks to love of my family and friends I am lucky enough to be here talking about it.
- Posted in: Anger ♦ Appreciation ♦ Broken neck ♦ chronic pain ♦ Depression ♦ Disability ♦ Disabled ♦ drugs ♦ emotion ♦ Family ♦ Friendship ♦ Frustration ♦ Happiness ♦ Health ♦ Injury ♦ life ♦ Pain ♦ Paralysed ♦ Pressure ♦ Spinal injury ♦ Suffering ♦ Support ♦ Tetraplegic ♦ Thanks ♦ Uncategorized ♦ Ventilated
- Tagged: broken neck, Depression, disability, Friendship, Spinal injury, Suffering, tetraplegic, thanks