Recent troubles

It has been quite some time since my last post. In part I have been busy but there is much more to it than that. My blogging is going to be somewhat rusty!

Following my little break I was quite looking forward to putting some posts together. I had even saved a couple of very rough drafts, thoughts more than anything.

Then, last Sunday, I found myself being rushed into hospital.

Not many will know that I have been struggling with my blood pressure for the last six months. Sudden and drastic drops have left me teetering on the edge of unconsciousness every week. More alarmingly, no medical experts can explain the drops.

On Sunday morning my carers had no choice but to phone the emergency services for an ambulance. Usually I can bounce back from the drop within 30 minutes or so but that day my body did not have enough fight to handle the bashing it was taking.

Within a couple of minutes of being transferred into my wheelchair I felt the usual symptoms of my blood pressure dropping. Lightheaded, dizzy and faint. No big panic. I have fast acting medication, ephedrine, to boost my blood pressure back up.

After taking these pills my condition continued to deteriorate. I lost all vision, bright white light was all I could see. My speech was slurred and I was dry retching. I remember my carers trying to keep me conscious. They were repeating my name and asking me to talk to them but I wasn’t able to respond. Although I was aware of the voices, they were distant. I felt like I was somewhere else, floating in an empty space but as much as I tried I couldn’t snap out of it.

I don’t mind admitting I was scared.

I was aware that an ambulance had been called so I was concentrating on staying with it. Knowing that help was on its way gave me something to focus on, a reason to stay awake.

It took the paramedics about 15 minutes to arrive and by then I was able to hold down a conversation. If it means anything to you, my blood pressure was 51/27. At that level it was difficult to understand how I could still be conscious. On top of my symptoms, an ECG gave the paramedics cause for concern regarding my heart so I was hastily stretchered into the ambulance with its blue lights flashing.

The first few hours in hospital are a bit of a blur. So many different doctors coming and going, hooked up to countless machines, blood being taken, IV antibiotics and fluids being given, a couple of X rays and an ultrasound.

I like to feel in control of my health so when the tables turn and I need to hand over control I don’t take it too well. I can only imagine I must have been a right grumpy bugger for the doctors to deal with!!

My mood worsened further when I found that the hospital had no WiFi and no signal on the mobile. Perhaps inconsequential in the grand scheme of things but by God, I missed my Internet!

No point getting into detail about all that happened over the next week. Treatment was administered, monitored and then adjusted on three or four occasions. I am now back home with no answers and still feeling lousy.

I just want to know what is wrong. I can handle being unwell, I am more than used to it, but I get worried when I don’t know (and neither do any of the consultants) what is going on.

Regardless, it is good to be back and I still need to keep reminding myself that things could be so much worse. I am thankful for all that I have.



  1. Hey, hang in there, you will get through it. I am not sure what makes your blood pressure suddenly drop, but a good diet, exercise and a positive mindset can help. Great post by the way, it’s great to have you back.

    • Thanks Jesse. Unfortunately the problem is far more complex than diet, exercise and mindset although they are extremely important in so many other ways. Exercise is obviously out of the question but healthy mind and healthy diet are very important to me.


  2. I hope you are okay! Exercise, diet and a positive mindset will help. Glad you are back blogging 🙂

  3. I am glad you are back home. Reading this made me realize the determination and courage you have. As for your writing being rusty, you are not right on that count. I was actually there as I was reading this and praying that you were doing better. I hope you continue to improve because your blog is something I go to when I need a pick me up and I miss it when you don’t write. Blessings my friend. Liz

    • Yes, this! On all accounts. I hope you do find out what is going on – as you said, the not knowing makes everything more difficult.

      • I would certainly be more comfortable if I knew what I was trying to fight!

        I hope you are getting on with your list, I’ll check in soon

      • Hugs.

        And, yes, I am indeed doing all sorts of New Things. Two more still to be posted about…

    • There are two or three compliments in there that I am going to gratefully accept (not something I am particularly good at). Thank you Liz, just what I needed to hear right now.

      I hope you are keeping well and I will try my best to catch up with all your goings-on, sorry I have been out of touch with those of you who I consider to be friends.


  4. recent TROUBLES? DAMN hon that’s a definate quote from! If I had gone through that or any of the other I would have been quoting from!
    The body is clearly an immensly challenging machine for you, but somehow you seem not only to cope but to create a view that people actually want to be a part of! I know you don’t have a choice but to suck it up, but know this, your crazy life is helping us, I know you’d trade it for a good breath, but despite that, please keep writing, often. Your sense of grace and fortitude is a treasure that’s sorely needed on the planet ‘chaos, death and destruction.’xx

    • I don’t really know how to respond. Blown away by those kind words so I am just going to say thank you. Not your normal blog world lipservice thank you, a very genuine and heartfelt thank you.

      PS Love the websites 🙂


  5. Lizmm67

    If like me, and I suspect you might be, you’re a bit of a control freak, not having the answers and the waiting for said answers is unbearable. The anticipation ends up being far worse because we imagine the worst. At least with answers we can prepare how to deal with the challenges ahead. I hope when answers come your challenges are easily overcome. As for you missing Wifi, it is such a vital lifeline and communication tool for you that it is understandable how much you miss it when it’s unavailable. I personally love the banter you have with a certain footballer’s partner, should Kris be worried?!! lol and like others have missed your blogs.
    One question. Were you as articulate before your accident or has it focused you? You’re writing as always moves me. Again I hope you get answers soon. xx

    • Exactly Liz, you can only beat what’s in front of you but if it’s invisible then it’s a damn hard job!

      I think it’s shocking that in these days when so many people rely on social networking and Internet services our hospitals are not all providing free WiFi. Football stadiums, shopping centres, restaurants and pubs can do it, why can’t our hospitals???

      What is a so articulate before the accident? Very very good question. I don’t know. I never tried so maybe I would have been but you could be right and I am more focused. Sometimes I think the voice recognition helps. Because I am talking rather than typing maybe helps it flow better. Who knows!

      Thanks again

      PS that player has nothing to worry about. He’s playing so well at the moment I wouldn’t want to swoop in and upset his family life 🙂 🙂 🙂

  6. Good to have you back! Ive been a bit awol myself. Not very many blogs from me but don’t have an excuse as good as yours 😉 lol
    Seriously, hope they get to the bottom of whats causing your bp to drop. 🙂 x

    • Thanks Morag.

      You don’t need an excuse if you just don’t feel like! 🙂 x

      • How are you feeling today? x

      • Had a good day, much better than recent. Hopefully things are on the up.

        Thanks for taking the time to ask

      • Ah that’s good! Glad to hear it. May there be many more good days to come x

  7. That’s a frightening week Steven. Very humbling to read. Sounds like you fought back pretty much on your own.

    Hope your equilibrium is back soon. Take care.

    • Getting there Paul. Changed some of my medication and seems to be helping a little.

      I’ll be there tomorrow and Wednesday regardless, got my priorities right!

  8. I “liked” this because you are here writing. I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough time of it. I can’t help but be inspired for your absolutely beautiful attitude. Feel better buddy (American for ‘Mate’). 🙂

    • I must admit, it was good to get back to it. I appreciate your support Colleen, it means a lot to me.

      I am good with buddy, use that every day. International language for friendship! 🙂

      • 🙂 Okay then, buddy it is. By the way….over here when we use the term “mate” it usually refers to one’s partner. So I chuckled every time I called you mate. 😉

  9. Great to hear you intend getting to CP so soon after another hospital stay. Reading your words I found myself trying to recall what I had been doing all the time you were in hospital. Couldn’t really remember much which shamed me (I’ve got age as an excuse) but – seriously – made me think how lucky I am and how sometimes I still don’t fully appreciate what I’ve got.

    Yet another thought provoking post from you young man. Thank you.


    • You know I wouldn’t be able to stay away! If things have deteriorated in the morning then I will need a rethink but it would take something drastic.

      We all do that, I can waste a whole week doing nothing. It’s nothing to be shamed by, human nature I suppose.

      Good to hear from you and fingers crossed for Wednesday night

  10. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    I am very glad you’re back. This sounds seriously frightening, & that it took 15 minutes for the paramedics to come is really scary. Truly, someone can die in that time – that’s just so scary.

    Hope you stay level, Steven. Sincere best, N’n

    • I can promise you that it felt a lot longer than 15 minutes! Things have been less severe over the last few days so fingers crossed.

      Thank you

      • WordsFallFromMyEyes

        Fingers crossed absolutely.

  11. What a pair we make Steve, one thing after the other for both of us it would seem. I have not seen a Consultant about the other problem yet and don’t know how serious it is as no one seems to know what’s causing it. I felt exactly the same thing as you until you know what’s going on how can you be positive, stand up to it and try and beat it. It’s the waiting and the unknown that scares us. It’s like being in a room with no windows and the lights are turned off. We’re feeling around in the dark for answer, while or minds are imagining all sorts of things that may not even be there (different conditions it could be). We have the sense of urgency to know and move on, while the health service is moving at a crawl.

    Glad you are back blogging as I care about how your are getting on, good and bad. I have only ever passed out once and it was really quick. With the blood pressure you had and you managed to fight that and stay awake is phenomenal on your part, your like Superman!

    Glad you are feeling slightly better, I have my fingers and a foots worth of toes crossed for you that they can find the cause of the problem quickly. Stay strong and blog your progress, you have a lot support through the blog but we can’t help, give encouragement or give you pearls of wisdom if you don’t keep us posted.

    As always, take care and draw a big S on your chest lol lol 😉 xx

    • A great comparison Helen, wish I had managed to explain it as well myself. Think I’ll get you to do a guest spot on my blog 🙂

      I know you are being put to the test as well, always here if you need a chat with someone who might understand some of your problems. Even if I’m not posting, you can always send me an e-mail or a Facebook message.

      Keep in touch pal

      PS. Loving the Superman comment. You know how to boost an ego (not that I need any help with that!) 🙂

  12. So glad that you are back – 51/27 damn that puts the hypo into hypotension (which causes you to pass out and is why they checked your heart and disrythmia on the ECG would be quite normal – Mom ). Did they do an MRI? I hope so. As for being out of practice with the blogging – forget it, you rock. . You are so brave and strong and inspire me to be better at all this stuff. Thank you for sharing.and be well. Love Chelsea (my mom said that given you are a Celtic supporter you may not appreciate my name – I have no clue about soccer politics so I hope I can still follow your blog) (dictated by Chelsea aged 15 to her Mom aged much more).

    • Ha, brilliant comment!! Had to read it a couple of times to work out who was saying what but I am with you now.

      They did not need to do an MRI, already had one a couple of weeks ago as part of the ongoing investigation into this problem. After six months I think they have pretty much ran out scans, tests, trials, and ideas!

      We have been aware of the arrhythmia every time this happens, even when symptoms are mild so that was no big surprise. This was a different problem. Waiting on the notes from the hospital being sent to my consultant to find out more but typical health service, not expecting anything to happen soon!!

      As for the blogging, all I can say is thank you. People say that kind of thing to me but I don’t tend to take compliments well. Every time I am told it I accept it and appreciate it that little bit more so thank you.

      And Mom, Chelsea are okay in my books. Not many fellow Celtic fans would agree but I don’t mind. If we are talking ‘soccer politics’ then the first thing you should know is that it is called football. The only real football 🙂 🙂

      Many thanks to both of you.

  13. That sounds really frightening, Steven…
    I sure hope your medical team is able to get a handle on what’s causing the blood pressure issues.
    Your positive attitude, determination, and honesty always stand out to me. I’m rooting for you and your recovery…

    • Apologies for the late reply, believe it or not I have been in the hospital again. More to follow I am sure….

      I hope they can get to the bottom of it also but to be honest, I don’t have much faith in them.

      Hopefully I am wrong.

      Thank you for your comment Denise, glad you stopped by X

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